The victim files. A shadow of the human psyche

Learnings from exploring this subtle energy of “being a victim” and how it shows up and holds us back.   

Most people don’t see themselves as a victim.   Nobody wants to think of themselves as a victim. It’s a weak position to be in.

It’s a sneaky one, as a lot of the time we feel very justified in our thoughts and feelings.

It can show up in life as feeling like you have to do everything yourself.  Or start making very real and valid excuses as to why you can’t do something.    Perhaps it’s frustration that people just don’t get you or are not listening or keep talking over you .  

That there is not enough time to do everything.  

That you can’t find the words to communicate.  

Confusion, hopelessness, tiredness, frustration, resentment.   

It can show up in these phrases that a lot of the time are said internally and not externally.   

This was the thing for me.   

On the outside you I would try to keep it together and accept responsibility and get on with it, where on the inside I was complaining, biting my tongue and getting more and more frustrated, while trying not to nag, snap or complain.  

Phrases like   “I just don’t know”, ”Its feeling really hard” ,“Can’t you just see what needs to be done”, “Do I have to do everything?”, “I wish you would just do it with out me asking or see what needs to be done”, “There is never enough time” “If I had more time” etc

You can loose power and momentum in life by this version of ‘feeling hard done by’.   

It’s subtle but makes a big impact in life with procrastination and anxiety at things unsaid and held on to.  Energy become stagnant and stuck, lowing your overall vibration and how you are seen to the world.

People see and hear you do one thing and but feel another.

I have come to realise it’s not big goals, success and profound experiences that matter in life if you can’t experience everyday life and everyday interactions with other people with peace and happiness.  

Its the interactions with your children, partners, friends and co-workers and even strangers that matter.   

So what the answer? If you notice these victim tendencies?

Firstly just being aware of it is a huge step, it’s no longer hiding in the shadows, pulling the strings from the sub conscious.

Making time to access the neutral mind of awareness is so important to breaking patterns. My full proof way is meditation in particular Kundalini Meditation.

Also making a physical note when you are getting triggered. Catching it, witnessing it and then hearing it out helps either internally yourself or role playing it with a coach.

Once you have created space between events happening and your reaction you can choose another way, choose to have direct communication with someone and the confidence to be direct, you no longer are responding from old patterns.

A victim tends to have low self worth and not stand up for themselves so the tendencies will disappear once you address this and cultivate self love.

The benefits are endless to simply going within each and everyday and witnessing the inner chatter of your mind

Anna xx